Ten simple rules for dating my son

His only solace his is 13-year-old son whom he still manages to understand.

John Ritter stars as Paul Hennessy, a loving, rational dad who can't quite figure out how his sweet little daughters morphed into hormonally-challenged, incomprehensible teenagers.

You may glance at her, so long as you do not peer at anything below her neck.

If you cannot keep your eyes or hands off my daughter's body, I will remove them.

Movies with a strong romance or sexual theme are to be avoided; movies which feature chain saws are okay. My daughter is putting on her makeup, a process that can take longer than painting the Golden Gate Bridge.Instead of just standing there, why don't you do something useful, like changing the oil in my car?Rule Four: I'm sure you've been told that in today's world, sex without utilizing a "barrier method" of some kind will kill you.Let me elaborate: when it comes to sex, I am the barrier, and I will kill you.Rule Three: I am aware that it is considered fashionable for boys your age to wear their trousers so loosely that they appear to be falling off their hips.Please don't take this as an insult, but you and all of your friends are complete idiots.If you cannot keep your eyes or hands off of my daughter's body, I will remove them.Rule Three : I am aware that it is considered fashionable for boys your age to wear their trousers so loose that they appear to be falling off.Let me elaborate, when it comes to sex, I am the barrier, and I will kill you.Rule Five : In order for us to get to know each other, we should talk about sports, politics, and other issues of the day. The only information I require from you is an indication of when you expect to have my daughter safely back at my house, and the only word I need from you on this subject is "early." Rule Six : I have no doubt you are a popular fellow, with many opportunities to date other girls.

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