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To put it more simply, they constantly obsess over what they don’t have.

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A few months ago, as reported in , the Deputy Prime Minister Bülent Arınç was up in arms about what he termed “moral corruption.” Besides making such ridiculous statements as “women shouldn’t talk about unnecessary things on the phone,” he also claimed that TV shows have turned youth into “sex addicts,” and encouraged men to not be “womanizers” and be more “chaste.” Late last year, Erdoğan went on record about an opposition leader’s affair, which was caught on tape.

Under President Erdoğan’s leadership (whose party AKP has held government for 12 years), the conservatives have become more powerful and visible than ever before, and use sexual politics as one of the most important tools to control society.

On September 15, Ismail Akkiraz, the vice chairman of the über-conservative Saadet Party, told a crowd during a speech that, “due to the AKP’s inadequate policies, our youth do not know how to practice ablution, and 60% go around [not showering after sex].” A few weeks later, on October 1, Selman Ada, the new manager of the Turkish State Opera and Ballet, said that employees (besides the ballet dancers) can no longer wear “athletic wear, tight cotton shorts, tights, stretch jeans, sandals, slippers, spiked high heels, formal evening gowns” to work.

They would carry on, yelling, laughing, but when I would enter the room, they would go quiet as I’m a lady and I demand a certain kind of behavior.

We then lived with another two guys, this time in their early 30s, one of whom was gay but had a ‘beard’ as being openly gay is still taboo in this country (but that is a topic for another time) and one who had no social skills around women whatsoever. The problem is that women and men are not encouraged—on a large scale—to live together as friends in a share house or even as partners before marriage.

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